THE BOOKS YOU NEED TO READ TO MASTER LOVE IN YOURS TWENTIES
“‘Eight Dates” by John and Julie Gottman gives you guidelines to help you navigate the most important conversations you should be having with your significant other or future significant other. When you’re establishing your framework for the relationship you want, knowing both partners stances on critical aspects of life is essential. These conversations also help you determine compatibility, sooner. Recognizing dealbreakers early on will help you make important decisions that pave the pathways of your life. Topics discussed and explored were money, sex, life goals, marriage, commitment, and many others were highlighted.
Love and life in your 20s: Exploration that “doesn’t count” and isn’t intentional, isn’t exploration…. It’s procrastination. Stop “procrastinating” your 20s away.
2. “Love is Not Enough” by Mark Manson was a really great audiobook I suggest that everyone reads! It discusses some of the most important relationship lessons that I absolutely loved. He talks about what relationship boundaries ACTUALLY are, how power struggles create toxic relationships, intimacy, relationship values, accountability, and so much more. This is actually my new favorite book because I love Mark’s “no b.s.” yet compassionate coaching/writing style. Although it follows five different people, the love lessons are applicable to all of us.
3. “The Defining Decade” by Meg Jay was a phenomenal book that helps encourage people to be intentional. Also, check out the best parts of the book here, you won’t regret it!
Most people think of love as a feeling,” says David Richo, “but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.” In this book, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships—one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life:
1. Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships. 2. Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are. 3. Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament. 4. Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways. 5. Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control.
When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts—what Richo calls the five A’s—form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A’s, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.
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